Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
