Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
