Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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