I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
