no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize