fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
