I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.