I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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