there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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