when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie