It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone