Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
