You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
