the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
