Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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