I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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