my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
