Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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