I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Acid is not a monday night drug
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
