Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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