I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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