real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize