did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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