idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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