**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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