You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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