I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
