He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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