and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
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I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
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When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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