Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
