I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
