Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
either way he was missing a nipple.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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