Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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