Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
