girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
