the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
