i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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