Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need to calm my uterus...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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