we have officially lost it.
i don't like sucking hair
I'm jealous of your bromance
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
