I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
