Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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