So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
