You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
