and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
