Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
