they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
