This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
