Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
