it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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