I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
