i just google imaged poop.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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