omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
