Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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