the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
