Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
