I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
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I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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