u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
