I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
