I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
