The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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