how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's blow job season.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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