There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
