My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't turn off my feet"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
