You just made me feel so damn special
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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