do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
